Do not fear.

On my new years resolution list was getting into the whole art – creative expression – keeping it real sane thing. So far I’ve painted 3 pieces (ok that sounds pretentious), umn 3 things that could be called art-like things, on some smaller canvases.DoThe first one is of a man / boy floating in the middle of the sea. It should look like he is floating, but because of my limited art skills he looks placed on top of the water and the image is kind of weird and totally un-proportional.But this is the one that I really needed to paint.I once heard this story on PRI:Selected shorts about two boys, some Japanese city, a tsunami, boy lost to see, regret, fear.For as long as I can remember I’ve had two types of reoccurring dreams; one where I’m on the beach and there is a huge tsunami. In the dream I always know I’m going to be okay; but I’m afraid for someone else I love who I think isn’t going to be okay – my brother, parents whatever. The second dream I always have is that I’m in a car and I really really need to get somewhere, but I can’t control the car. The feeling is that I’m drunk and not able to control by body, but like my mind is totally clear and panicking in the desperation of not being able to get where I want to go.I know both these dream are about Fear. Fearing of not be in control. Not being able to do what I want, help the people I love, not being able to go where I need to go… etc.The moral of short story by the author whose name I can’t remember is…Do not fear. Or all that you love will be washed out to sea.Or something like that – I can’t exactly remember… but ever since I heard that story I haven’t had either of my reoccurring dreams.So I’ve put the weird painting of the boy floating in the sea, on the ledge that is right in front of the toilet. I look at it when ‘doing ma thing so I can look at it in the few moments of a day that are spent in un-forced peaceful meditative blank.p.s.(Originally, I thought it was a Marukami story but know I don’t think it is.  I THINK I have read something by that author before – The Seamstresses Wife? I don’t know – I don’t have my old book collection as a reference.)